One year ago, I said goodbye to my dear sweet Lucy.
Photo: Mark Eric Weddings
One year ago, I realized how truly unprepared I was to deal with her loss.
One year ago, I wrapped myself in tears and tuned out most of the world.
She was gone. Unexpectedly.
And there was nothing anyone could say or do to comfort me.
One year ago, I forced myself to be open to the idea of owning another Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, despite knowing all too well the life threatening conditions they potentially face.
I frequented a local breeder,and friend’s home for “cavalier cuddle time” to get me through.
I wrote about it here.
In the three short years we owned Lucy, she provided more love than we could ever imagine.
More loyalty than we ever deserved.
More laughter than our smiles could handle.
But most of all, she taught us to live life as fearlessly as possible.
To not hesitate nor place limitations on yourself.
To play hard and love fiercely.
Lucy left behind a void so large, it has taken two Cavaliers to even come close to replacing her (my thoughts of merely “replacing” a dog later).
That tri-colored in the above picture? That’s Ace.
Little did I know at the time, that his little mis-marked black and tan offspring would become my sweet, sensitive Milo.
And two months later, spunky little Stella would travel across the country to join our family.
My love for these two little fur balls is intense.
Each have their own little personalities, quirks, and individual endearments.
Photo: Lida Matthews Photography
But these two don’t “replace” my Lucy.
They do, however, provide me the opportunity to hold onto the happy memories of her and release some of the hurt.
I’m sure people find it odd that Stella & Milo’s dog bed has Lucy’s name on it.
But there are some things that I refuse to part with.
I consider it Lucy’s little way of welcoming the two into our hearts.
I will always, always have moments when I cry my eyes out over not having her here.
Moments I see how close Stella & Milo are and regret that for her.
And moments that I feel downright robbed for the short little life she led.
But that little dog touched more people in her 3 years, than many people do in a lifetime.
She will forever be in our hearts.
So, this year as we prepare for our weekend activities that last year were cancelled I am counting my blessings for Stella & Milo and remembering the happy times with Lucy.
I miss you my sweet, sweet Lucy Goose.
Photo: Lacey Rabalais Photography
PS: I realize there are shelter dogs without homes. I donate my time, efforts, and money to several of their causes. So before you comment that I should’ve considered a dog without health concerns, please be sensitive. Until you have owned a Cavalier, you have no room to judge another person’s desires. Thank you.