My love…my Lucy

My dear sweet Lucy,

The last 24 hours have been agonizing.

Your death has shocked, angered, saddened and debilitated me in ways I didn’t know were imaginable.

I’ve never had a dog as an adult and saying goodbye to one too soon has broken my heart into a million pieces.

I’ve cried enough tears to create a flash flood warning in all of Baton Rouge.

I’m trying desperately to embrace the wonderful memories we shared, but I’m bitter.

I want you here.

I want you back.

I want to know why.

I don’t have a single memory of my marriage without you in it.

You proposed.

You hung out during my bridal portraits and did your very best to sit pretty.

Photo via: Mark Eric Weddings

We gave you lots of Cherrios and captured this sweet moment.

Photo via: Mark Eric Weddings

You shared holidays with our families. Our siblings brought children, we brought you.

Lucy, you were my everything and I’m lost without you. Destroyed, really.

I know time heals all wounds but the silence of your little paws clicking against the wood floors is deafening.

Your absence next to me while I slept was unbearable.

Did I sleep? I’m not sure as the hours that have passed since you left us are a blur.

I hope you know how much I adored you.

And how much I learned from you in the short time you were with us.

You shared my love for ribbon and crafts.

And you were the ultimate party girl.

Photo via: Lacey Rabalais Photography

Your spirit was so strong, but your heart so weak.

Photo via: Lacey Rabalais Photography

Will you ever forgive us for not knowing? Will the anger toward those who didn’t detect your condition ever go away?

Or, is it better that we didn’t know, therefore never held you back when you thought you had a chance at catching those squirrels?

You lived life so fully, my little Lucy and to know you did it while quietly hiding your illness crumbles me.

I would’ve done anything in this world to prolong my time with you.

Anything.

I spoke to your breeder yesterday. I was even angry with her. Your parents were champions and heart clear.

We thought you were too.

She shared my tears, and my hurt and graciously offered to send us another puppy in October.

But Lucy, you have my heart.

My entire heart.

I’m not ready to share it with another dog.

You cannot be replaced.

Please know that our lives were forever changed by you.

Your strength. Your forgiveness. Your sweetness. Your love for life.

Photo via: Lacey Rabalais Photography

Your personality. Your love for all people. Your ability to capture hearts and hold them in the palm of your paws.

Photo via: Lacey Rabalais Photography

Thank you for honoring us with the opportunity to share in your short little life.

“He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.

You are his life, his love, his leader.

He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart.

You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.” -Author unknown

**Thank you to each of you who have commented, emailed, texted and called but forgive me for not replying individually. Know that I appreciate it more than words can say, but am struggling beyond measure. I love you more than you know. **

Comments

  1. Darlene says:

    Aimee…I am wiping my tears reading this!!! May Lucys spirit live forever!

  2. laura~eye candy event details says:

    oh aimee – I am typing this in tears as I have been there & I know about the hole left in your heart right now. Just know I am here. =) This is a beautifully written tribute to Lucy & I’m sure she is very proud of you! Just rest in the knowledge that YOU guys gave her the best YEARS & the BEST home a dog could ask for & I am sure you would have done anything to change it to let her be here longer but like you said would you have limited her because of it? Who knows but for three glorious years she got to live FREE without complaining of what was going on with her & she got to do & live every day – EVERY day – so smile every time you think of her because YOU gave her that! YOU gave her the BEST of everything! {HUGS} my sweet friend! xoxo

  3. {HUGS} to you today! <3

  4. Oh, Aimee! I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss!

  5. Facebook Comment says:

    So sorry :( I completely understand. My doggy is family too.

  6. I am in shock. I am in Cali visiting my folks and couldn’t bring Laila. I try often to ignore her own mortality. I remember going over the health issues of the breed but thinking it was remote. You did everything carefully, well researched, and full of thought. I don’t know any words that can take the pain away. I lost two dogs in my lifetime but never one like Laila or even like Lucy. I think I would crumble if Laila was taken away. I can’t even fathom how you feel. I’m here. I don’t understand but I know you will heal. I already knew you called the breeder and I would have sought answers as well. I was so looking forward to watching Lucy & Laila play together. I am devastated and remember that cute little face who had a streak of curiosity beyond a cats. She was one of the most loved dogs I ever have known. She had an amazing life and I could almost see a smile in the pics. You were an awesome Mommy Dog! I’m so happy you left cat and were able to spend more time with her. If anyone can say they gave a dog the bestest life possible you surely can make that claim. When I get home I will hug Laila tighter than ever and hope she understands how much I love her. I know Lucy knows! Call ANYTIME

  7. Ugh, Aimee. I am so sorry. Yesterday was beyond hard for both of us. I hope that Keiko and Lucy are in heaven, frolicking together in big fields with no regard to the broken bodies they left behind. Just know that I am thinking of you today and will be for many days afterwards. <3 B

  8. Priscila says:

    I’m so sorry, Aimee.. {hugs} to you.. <3

  9. So sorry for your loss!

  10. I am full of tears streaming down my face as I read this. Aimee, I know your relationship with Lucy… and it’s the same I have with my dog – not dogs… our children. Our babies. I’m angry at the breeder, i’m angry at your vet too. I’m so sorry! 

  11. My heart hurts for you and you are in my thoughts and prayers.  Our dog is our child and I know the amount of love you shared with your little lady.  I wish I could give you a big hug!  Sending all my love to you and your husband.

  12. Aimee-
    How sad for you.  My heart goes out to you.  
    I don’t know how I would be able to deal with losing my pup.
    Take care, 
    Sue

  13. Im so sorry for ur loss!

  14. My heart breaks for you. I have two precious doggies and I don’t want to think about the day that I have to go through this. God bless you sweetie. Lucy will always have a special place in your heart.

  15. I am typing through blurry eyes and a breaking heart for you. Words cannot heal your pain but know that so many of us are thinking of you and keeping your sweet Lucy in our hearts too. I am so so sorry for your loss. xo

  16. Opps.. Thinking about you. May Gods grace shower you with love during these hard times.

  17. Eleanor says:

    What a sweet tribute to your girl. We are close to six years removed from losing our sweet boy very suddenly. Trust that things do get easier with time and that while you will think of Lucy every day, your thoughts of loss won’t be as all-consuming as they are now. Thinking about you both!

  18. Sending lots of prayers and love your way. So sorry for the loss of your beloved girl.

  19. My condolences to you and your husband at this time. My husband and I are unable to have children, so our dogs are our lives. This last December, a week before Christmas, one went to live in heaven. They leave such large holes in our hearts. I know of the loss you feel and can say that, in the teeniest-tinest steps sometimes, it does get easier. I have named my business after one of them, and he goes with me everywhere. I can tell Lucy is similar in your heart as Ronnie is in mine. My heart goes out to you. Strong hugs from Ronnie and I !

    • Natasha Posted on Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry you are in pain, it’s very very diufciflt. Try to stay positive and move forward. Peace and blessings, Natasha

  20. Facebook Comment says:

    Awe, my heart goes out to you. We just lost our cat who was with us for 14 years (16 with my husband). Hugs to you.

  21. I just found out today and I’m so sorry for your loss. I remember only too vividly how horrible and helpless it feels to unexpected lose your precious friend and would be child. It’s a wound so very deep. Know that it is true though, time does heal, but for now it’s time to mourn. And I mourn with you. Praying for you both.

  22. What a sweet and sad post! I hope the pain goes away and you feel the love from all of us! Praying and sending you hugs!! So sorry Aimee!

  23. Heidi Wincek says:

    Hi Aimee, thank you for writing such a beautiful tribute for your beloved Lucy. Last August my golden retriever, Sadie, died in my arms and it was the worst thing to have to witness. Many people shared in my pain at such a loss and I hope knowing that others care helps you too.
    Blessings, Heidi

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