Getting Your Happy Back (Part One)

Getting Your Happy Back.

It’s one of those things that has to happen.

{Disclaimer} By no means am I an expert. Or have I even successfully gotten my “happy” back, but by golly I am trying my darndest.

The first step, in my humble opinion, is to get out of bed.

This is coming from someone who refused to do this very thing for a couple of days.

A really great friend, and someone who I would’ve been lost without this week said “once you get through the round of “firsts” it will get better every time after that- 1st time here, 1st time there will be hard. The next time will be sad, but not as hard as the “first” time.”

I was spending my days trying to hide from those “firsts”.

Reality is you have to get through those firsts. And you have to get out of bed.

Step two:  allow yourself to be sad. And hurt. And angry.

Understand that it is totally acceptable to throw one gigantic pity party. For real.

Acknowledge that grief is a process. And that losing your beloved pet is no different than losing a human loved one. Yes, I said it. It’s the same and I’ll argue with anyone who states otherwise.

Surround yourself with people who understand and silence your phone when non-pet owning non-understanding people call.

You can return their calls when you’re feeling better. But not now.

If the words “you gotta get over it” come out of anyone’s mouth. Hang up. And call me instead.

I seriously thought about starting a blog for people without a support system. Luckily, I have a father who checked on me not once, not twice, but three times to make sure I was out of the bed. I have in-laws who not only bought pizza for my pity party, but they didn’t bat an eyelash when I cried all over it. I have friends that sent cards, flowers, sentimental gifts, and enough text messages to create an AT&T traffic jam.

But my heart aches for those people who don’t have that network.

I can only hope they stumble upon my blog, and find the courage to reach out.

Step three: Get out of the house that contains all the sad memories. At some point your home will feel like home, but right now it harbors all the memories. Realize that your husband/spouse/significant other is hurting too and do something they want to do.

Like go to a baseball game when every ounce of your being hates baseball.

Step four: Focus on someone else’s happiness rather than your own. At a time when all you want is to wallow in your sorrow, trust me on this one. If you find the courage to dress yourself, dust yourself off, and put someone else first- it’ll do you a world of good.

I taught a sewing class for beginner’s this past weekend at our local YMCA. Truth be known, I commited myself to it weeks ago and I thought of a zillion excuses to get out of it, but at the end of the day I needed to uphold my commitment.

Putting those girls first, and seeing the happiness on their faces sporting thier newly made messenger bags did my soul a world of good.

And it helped to hear, “Miss Aimee, you can make annnnnnnything!”.

Step five: Steal some puppy kisses.

Your heart needs to know that it is capable of loving another furry friend.

 I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will own another Cavalier King Charles Spaniel one day soon but right now my heart needs to heal.

 I had an opportunity to have a play date with a local breeder and it helped to experience the myriad of personalities. All 9 of them (yes, there were 9) while uniquely different shared one common trait: they are the sweetest dogs on the planet.

 And it was hard not to take every single one of them home with me.

I am incredibly thankful for my afternoon with Mollie, Millie, Rhett, Penny, Ace, Ellis Hugh (get it, sounds like LSU), Rudy, Ivan, and a Lucy carbon copy-  Gracie.

**I’ll be blogging the story behind how the breeder became a breeder. He’s an incredible man, with an incredible story and I’m blessed to call him a new friend. **

Comments

  1. 5

    laura~eye candy event details says

    Oh how I LOVE this post! So good to see you a little bit of happy. =) So proud of you & I can’t believe you said what you said in here! You made me misty eyed for even mentioning it – thank you for the love! xoxo

    • 6

      says

      I cannot thank you enough for all your sweet words, your being “real” about the whole thing, and your constant checking on me. The least I could do is blog about you. I am so grateful for you! The end.

  2. 7

    Jennifer says

    So sweet, Aimee! So happy to hear you are feeling a little better. Well, at least out of bed and out of the house. :-)  I need to save this blog post in case the day ever comes that I lose my Lucie! I’ll need these encouraging words. We are still thinking of you and Brian and you are both in my prayers. Big Hugs to you both!!

    • 8

      says

      Hopefully you won’t need it anytime soon, but yeah, I’ll have you covered when the time comes. I hadn’t really thought about losing her, but had NO idea how hard it would be. It’s definitely day by day and it hurts like crazy, but you have to keep living. I tried to press pause but the world kept unpausing me. :) Thank you for checking in on me, really means the world!!!!!

  3. 9

    says

    Aimee,
    No words will make your heart heal faster. I can’t tell you how much time it will take. Months and months later, there is still a giant whole in my life and heart that Daisy left. She will always be missed, loved, and can never be replaced. Luckily I know that she had a wonderful life and I did everything I could to love and spoil her. You and Brian were great parents for Lucy. I am a witness. Take every second to heal. Take all the time you need. For the people that don’t understand….it’s there loss. Because if they don’t know what it feels like then they don’t know the love that a special pet can bring to their lives. And if you don’t like animals then you are just strange. And if you wouldn’t like a dog like Lucy (or Daisy) then maybe we should rethink our friendships in the first place. :o)
    Glad you’re doing things like getting out of the house. Looks like you’re having fun. Even if they include baseball…..which is fun!!! Looking forward to more fun posts. And a lunch soon.

    • 10

      says

      Lunch soon is a must! I, of course, come with a cry disclaimer but I know it’s okay with you. Daisy & Lucy on that picnic blanket will always have a special place in my heart. They were so loved! One day, we’ll have another version and we’ll have to do it again (but differently, because to redo it would be just weird…..and sad). Miss you!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>